The conventional battles in the game are fought against random wandering pirates ( Arrr!), which accounts for the 'pirate' insults listed above. The combat system works like sword fighting in real life: he who talks the best smack wins. GUYBRUSH: I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.įor context, the above insults are from the swordfights from the LucasArts game The Secret of Monkey Island. SWORDMSTR: Now I now what filth and stupidity really are. PIRATE: I've spoken with apes more polite than you are SWORDMSTR: There are no clever moves that can help you now. PIRATE: There are no words for how disgusting you are GUYBRUSH: Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh? SWORDMSTR: You are a pain in the backside, sir!

PIRATE: I'm not going to take your insolence sitting down GUYBRUSH: I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me. SWORDMSTR: Every word you say to me is stupid. GUYBRUSH: I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them. SWORDMSTR: I've got the courage and the skill of a master swordsman! PIRATE: You're no match for my brains, you poor fool. GUYBRUSH: Too bad no one's ever heard of YOU at all PIRATE: I've heard you were a contemptible sneak GUYBRUSH: Why, did you want to borrow one? SWORDMSTR: I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape. PIRATE: Have you stopped wearing diapers yet? GUYBRUSH: I hope you've learned to stop picking your nose. SWORDMSTR: My last fight ended with my hands covered with blood. PIRATE: I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle! SWORDMSTR: I will milk every drop of blood from your body SWORDMSTR: No one will ever catch ME fighting as badly as you do. PIRATE: Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will!

GUYBRUSH: You make me think somebody already did SWORDMSTR: If your brother's like you, better marry a pig. GUYBRUSH: He must have taught you everything you know. SWORDMSTR: Only once I've met such a coward. PIRATE: I once owned a dog that was smarter than you.

GUYBRUSH: Even BEFORE they smell your breath? SWORDMSTR: My wisest enemies run away at the first sight of me! PIRATE: People fall at my feet when they see me coming

GUYBRUSH: So you got that job as janitor after all. SWORDMSTR: I usually see people like you passed-out on tavern floors. SWORDMSTR: My name is feared in every dirty corner of this island PIRATE: My handkerchief will wipe up your blood. GUYBRUSH: First you'd better stop waving it like a feather duster SWORDMSTR: My sword is famous all over the caribbean. PIRATE: Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish-kabob GUYBRUSH: And I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT? SWORDMSTR: I've got a long, sharp lesson for you to learn today PIRATE: This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!

Escape from monkey island comebacks